In Orchard all kids experience troubled times, some more serious than others. As mentoring is essential for children to grow and become mature adults, the question that may creep in your head is how to be a good mentor? There are some common traits found in a good mentor in Orchard Singapore.
A good mentor has faith in the child. He gives the child time to develop trust in them, and values their trust. He shows that he genuinely believes in the child, and that the child has the power to change and be who they want to be. He builds up trust with his mentee. It can sometimes take months for a child to open up in front of a stranger. A good mentor in Orchard shows that he enjoys spending time with the child, and tells them he’d like to help however he can. He starts by making sure that the child is at least on friendly terms with him, and talks to them about their mentoring experiences. He respects and practices confidentiality. He tells the child that everything is between the two of them, and that everything is confidential. He doesn’t disclose the child’s feelings, thoughts, or emotions to other people. He allows the child to handle conflicts on their own unless they ask for help.
Tenets of a Child Psychologist
A good mentor is an active listener. Always smiling and positive, he treats the child as an individual. A good mentor listens with respect and understanding, and waits until the child has finished speaking. He shows an interest in whatever the child says by responding and asking open questions to get them to talk more. He lets the child talk for as long as they like. This helps the child in beginning to trust the mentor. A good mentor is genuine and doesn’t act like someone he’s not. He helps the child in critical-thinking and problem-solving. He shows that he genuinely enjoys spending time with the child, and affirms their feelings. He makes them believe that they are strong and will be able to get through it.
When I was in elementary school, human beings visited the moon for the first time. We had conquered space! We felt invincible! The telephone was invented, the first TV (black and white) was made to entertain us, and several electric appliances were helping us save time and making our lives easier...
I thought I was lucky because there was so much progress in my time! People believed that my generation would solve all problems of the human race, thanks to the technological development; the elders were always telling us that we were "the hope of the future!"
The knowledge we were exposed to appeared powerful and appeared to have infinite possibilities for development! Our world became electric; everything suddenly changed and continued to change very fast, as we were learning more and achieving more.
However, now that my generation is old and my son's generation is the one that has to give us some hope, we are not happier and we don't believe that this generation is capable of solving the problems we were unable to solve. This generation is facing the results of a huge development lacking organization and the insane destruction that our generation caused to the environment.
People are more vulnerable to illnesses at a relatively early age because their bodies are not resistant. They eat fast food without sufficient proteins or frozen foods without taste, they breathe the air polluted by atomic bombs that destroyed countries and experimental fields in the past and are still doing it now, they live in a commercial world where hypocrisy is used to try and hide all our absurd mistakes with indifference and futility. They feel humanity's despair, they don't believe they can be the heroes we need and they are afraid of the future.
We live in a world were one suicide happens every 40 seconds and most of the population suffers from neurosis and depression. Our progress did not help us live better and our kids will have to work many miracles if they want to save mankind and our exploited planet, which already lost many of its natural resources.
What can save us from our own insanity? How can we correct all the mistakes we made and are still making everyday? How can we put an end to terror and despair? Where can we find happiness?
When we answer these questions, we will find a solution to teenage depression. But we are unable to do so; we are too ignorant!
The unique solution for our depressed new generation comes from the ancient wisdom of the old scriptures, the deepest level of our soul, a magical resource we could not imagine existing in our own psyche: the saintly and wise unconscious that creates our dreams. Its unlimited power was discovered a long time ago, but in fact, it has been completely understood only in this century.
Now we have almost destroyed our planet with bombs and factories, we have been disgusted with immorality and hypocrisy for so long and have seen how empty material progress without psychic development is. Now, to our great surprise, we can see how we are unable to govern our world and our own lives without provoking disasters, so it is only now that we have grown to have the humble attitude needed to finally learn how to live peacefully and happily by correctly and easily interpreting our own dreams!
If we believe we know everything and we are not willing to recognize our ignorance and our incapacity to decide what is really good for us based in our own judgment, we can never learn what the wise unconscious has to teach us through our dreams and in the reality we observe.
The wisdom of the unconscious is true and can save us from despair only if we learn to abandon our old conceptions of reality and if we learn to change our behaviour. We have to be humble students who understand how deep their ignorance is and how much they need to learn in order to receive the benefits of this unparalleled wisdom.
However, this is really the only solution for people of the new generation who are already depressed and feel that they cannot do anything to change or improve our world.
Young people need to understand how they can develop their psychic sphere the most, and use their power to correct all the mistakes we made. They need to have an aim and many possibilities to achieve it, without being bound by the problems and impossibilities that once hindered us in our path to success and now are suffocating them as well.
He tries to discuss the positive sides of tough situations without belittling the child’s emotions. He shares stories of his own experiences of how he got through tough situations to help the child understand they are not alone. He asks the child questions to get to know them better. He takes note of things the child is interested in. Active listening is a huge part of treating the child as an individual. He talks to them positively and commend them for sharing something that was difficult to say.
A good mentor encourages the child, provides them with resources, and celebrates their achievements. He focuses on the child’s goals, not their problems. He helps the child focus on their education, health and on their positive relationships. He finds ways to gradually get away from the child’s risky behavior. At ShutlerFitness when the child discusses one of their goals, whether small or big, a good mentor is supportive and helps them to focus on working toward their goal. He knows that children need to have goals in order to avoid risky behaviour. He uses short-term goals as a way to work towards their long-term goals, and shares ideas they may not have thought of on their own. If the child needs help finding other supportive services, he helps the child access resources they need. When the child reaches one of their goals, he tells them he is proud of them. He gives the child emotional motivation to keep going and helps them try to reach more goals. He holds them accountable for their actions so the child learns to take responsibility for themselves. He supports them throughout the process.
Mind of ‘Third Culture’ Kids - Insight
A good mentor commits his time regularly for a long period. He arranges some schedule of appointments and keeps to it in Orchard. Mentor relations are most beneficial when they last for a long time. When he has a meeting with the child, he tries not to skip it under any circumstances. He becomes the person that the child can count on to follow through. A good mentor sets some realistic expectations. He talks to the child about their goals, and lets the child know that he believes they can do well. He makes it clear he expects the child to try to reach their goals, and helps them to succeed. He discusses with the child concrete ways they can do this. He asks open-ended questions, and why the child wants to achieve their goals and how they plan on doing it. He talks to the child about ways to manage their time. He shares mistakes he’s made and how he learned from them. Sharing his own experiences, he tells the child why he thinks they should or shouldn’t do something. He builds a solid relationship so that the child places trust in him. He communicates with the child on a regular basis so they can become more comfortable with him.
Admitting that your child may have a problem is no easy task for any parent. But as some point you have to ask yourself what is best for your child. Learning when its time to take your child to see someone and when its just normal behavior can sometimes be hard to differentiate. Children go through many phases before they reach adulthood. Each phase along the way has its own hang ups and problems. Learning when it is more than just a normal childhood phase is hard sometimes for parents.
There are certain markers which tell a psychologist whether or not there maybe an underlying problem. As with all diagnosis nothing is exact but trusting the guidelines can give them a good idea whether or not your child maybe in trouble.
Below are some of the flags to let a psychologist or parent know if the child needs to be evaluated:
1. Excessively Clingy
2. Uncharacteristic disobedient or defiant
3. Changes in Behavior
4. Isolation
5. Extreme mood swings
6. Frequent Accidents
7. Seeks Attention [Good & Bad]
8. Trouble Concentrating
9. Decrease in Grades at school
10. Sudden change in appetite
11. Weight loss
There are several reasons for changes in mood & behavior which can cause some disturbances in your family dynamic. However in extreme cases checking with a psychologist for an evaluation could prevent further trauma or problems within the household or your child's life. Watching your child closely and being aware of the symptoms could help you later on in their lives. Any time a child has had a severe trauma in their lives it is wise to have them evaluated for additional support in dealing with it. Things like a death in the family, or even a close friend moving away can interrupt their daily lives and cause distress.
If you feel that your child has been acting out of the ordinary or shown any of the above signs it is important to get them treatment soon. The earlier the treatment starts the more effective it can be for your child. Remember know one knows your child like you, and you are your child's first line of support.
In Orchard a good mentor really thinks about why he wants to be a mentor. He really needs to be clear for himself on whether he has the time, patience, commitment and maturity required. He must honestly evaluate himself on whether there is a good enough reason or not. He gets his own training and support. Having his own support team and sources of information is very important for being a good mentor. He should regularly talks to other mentors who have experience in dealing with children personal issues. As a mentor its he must document and follow a mentoring plan. He should identify the purpose of his mentoring relationship and the course of mentoring he’d like to put in place. Shutlerfitness allows for brainstorms potential activities and discussions.
Finally, he should stay committed to his mentoring relationship with the child.
